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Unread 07-28-2021, 02:27 PM
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F.F. Teague F.F. Teague is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Gloucestershire, UK
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John I., thanks for kicking things off here. And thanks for discerning a real gift for lightness in my poetry; that's very much appreciated. It does seem to come very naturally, indeed. Where might one find your little light verse book? I am intrigued!

D'oh's a funny one. My dad used it a lot while the bros and I were little and making a mess, lol. Well, he still says it now, as do I, on appropriate occasions. I like 'start across' and I'll certainly consider that in my revisions :-)

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Thanks, John R.! Yes, it could be read as not entirely light, I'm coming to see. The exasperation in it is partly to do with the boredom of choring and I like your interpretation. I chose 'hundred' for the alliteration, but everything's up for improvement; thank you!

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Jim, great that you agree with John I; and thanks for enjoying my posts here. Thanks also for your suggestion; I hoped to indicate all manner of ways of washing through 'tries', but I'll rethink if it's not coming through. Thanks for your comment :-)

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Mark, thanks for your points. Re. L1, I'll think about that. 'Ys' in this context are Y-fronts, lol. I'll think about 'terrifying' too and thanks for enjoying the poem :-)

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Hi Matt; yes, this is an unusual one, lol. That's interesting about 'Oy'; yes, 'Oi' would be better for the Brit. Eng. Though now I'm wondering whether it ought to be written in German!

I suppose I could add the door to L1 somehow? Yes, 'terrifying' is strange; I suppose I'm attempting, probably failing, an epic feel to things at this stage. Perhaps adding 'a' would be okay?

The human is trying to wash as much as possible, I think. I have a sense of overloading, hence the machine's 'too much stuff' earlier. And I think I used that comma to distinguish falling in awe from falling due to the washing machine banging against the chap in the poem :-)


Revisions to follow, probably tomorrow <(:-)

Best wishes,
Fliss
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