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Unread 07-20-2020, 07:54 AM
Jim Moonan Jim Moonan is offline
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 2,803

Yes, this is very much like writing poetry. I suppose one could say it is prose poetry. I like the limitation to 100 words.

I like them all and see a thread that ties them together. Dystopia. Or dreaming. Or isolation. All three. Water runs through them all too (I think).

Great stuff John and certainly poetic. If you wanted, you could incorporate line breaks to add a charge to the meaning, I think. I like poetic structure better than paragraph structure.

I think The Die-In might be nice to start with the sentence "No one knew why the cows began dying."

Anyway, you sparked one out of me — here it is:


We took the pink pill and broke it to pieces, then swirled it in warm water and gulped it down, thinking it would activate its effects more rapidly, and it worked. Within minutes my vision was altered and there was an imbalance to everything. I felt, not heard, a hum and my thinking focused beyond what was there and into the heart of why I wanted to go there in the first place: to see what I could not see. To be under the influence and go with the flow of it. There was no danger. Even when things peaked I knew I would come down, refreshed from the trip.

Last edited by Jim Moonan; 07-20-2020 at 08:45 PM.
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